Back to the Pilot/Quotes


 * Pearl: [standing outside the pilot house] That's odd, that's our house but somehow it looks a little different.
 * Pilot Pearl: [from inside the pilot house] Marge, my lips are too thin. Can I please get collagen injections?
 * Pilot Marge: Pearl, you don't need to change the way you look. You know, most of the world's problems stem from poor self-image.
 * Gus: Oh my God, what's with your voice? You sounds like someone who's about to give up a huge opportunity.
 * Pearl: That's nothing, look at you. You look like a prize at some Mexican church carnival.


 * Pilot Pearl: Woah, butt ahoy. Hey, uh, Pscar, it's seven o'clock and you still got your pants on. What's the occasion?
 * Gus: Ew, I remember this. Peter's eye did that weird creepy thing where it went over his nose.
 * Pilot Oscar: Come on, you're worryin' about nothin'.
 * Pilot Marge: Oh? Remember when you got drunk off the communion wine at church?
 * Gus: Ah, ew, gross look at that!
 * [At the spot where we expect to see a cutaway gag, the Pilot Balors just stand around staring]
 * [Inside courtroom]
 * Pilot Judge: Mr. Balor, I think your words have touched us all. I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison! [gavel]
 * Pilot Marge: Oh no!
 * Pilot Dog: Bark bark! Subtitle: Oh no!
 * Pilot Gus: Oh no!
 * Pilot Pearl: Oh no!
 * [Camera cuts to wall but nothing happens. Meanwhile back outside]
 * Gus: So there's no organs or glands or anything right? It's just the liquid?
 * Kool Aid man: Yeah, yeah, it's just the liquid.
 * Gus: I don't know if this is a weird question but, can i have some?
 * Kool Aid man: Alright, tilt your head back and I'll lean my liquid down into your mouth.
 * Gus: Oh, now I don't want it.
 * Kool Aid man: Oh crap, did I miss it!
 * [Meanwhile back inside]
 * Pilot Marge: Excuse me, your honor, my husband can be thoughtless at times, he may even be downright, well, stupid, but I know he only accepted that money because he...
 * [Kool Aid man suddenly rushes through the wall at the wrong moment]
 * Kool Aid man: Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Yeah!
 * [Everyone stares at Pilot Kool Aid man silently and he tries to step back outside backwards like in the pilot, but trips and breaks himself next to Pearl and Gus]
 * Kool Aid man: You guys did this! Talking about my guts! Screwing me up! Blast you!
 * Kool Aid man: You guys did this! Talking about my guts! Screwing me up! Blast you!